Self-Belief versus Perfectionism
At 25 my immediate superior officer in the Air Force looked me dead in the eye and said,
“You don’t understand how smart and capable you are. I’m not sure why you don’t believe in yourself, but you can, and you should.”
It took me many more years to understand and apply his insight. Truth is, I’m still at it. But it was true. And it’s true of many of us. Sometimes especially the ones who talk a big game—sometimes it’s themselves they’re trying to convince, not the rest of us. But certainly, many of the quiet ones who don’t put ourselves forward are holding back because we’re not sure we have the right to be on the same playing field with all the multi-billions of others. (Clue phone ringing … it’s for you. You have the right.)
Captain Al told me that not long after ordering me to take on something I was positive I couldn’t handle. Something my first attempts at fixing had made worse. (Nearly much worse, but that’s another story.)
I wasn’t the only one who was struggling. I’m pretty sure I was the only one who had announced my complete incompetence due to the setbacks. In the end, I made things work in spite of my self-doubt. And that’s when he pointed out my pattern of holding myself back with lack of self-belief.
Maybe it isn’t quite the same, but: I have seen a lot of people not commit to their own health and fitness until they could design an Ideal Course of Action. Because they couldn’t believe in themselves and thought the Perfect Plan was required to save them.
It can’t be “get to the gym and do some stuff, then keep going and figure out more stuff.” It can’t be “fix yourself or buy yourself a meal that’s healthier than your average, but also something you’ll enjoy eating … and do that more often.” It’s gotta be LIST OF FOODS THEY ENJOY BUT WILL NEVER EAT AGAIN and THE SIX EXERCISES THEY HATE THAT A YOUTUBE EXPERT SAYS ARE THE ONLY ONES YOU SHOULD DO.
Talk about making the perfect the enemy of the good.
Breathe. You’re not going to risk dropping a several thousand pound missile silo access door on yourself because you started removing a hinge while you forgot that you already had another hinge off and the door open. Even my colleague Terry and I resolved that near-mistake before it was a crisis. Most situations are not that dire. Not even most bad situations that you want to fix.
When your own perfectionism gets in the way of your progress, try getting better at kicking perfectionism to the curb. And hug your lack of self-belief while you’re at it. But don’t it rule you.
Very little about improving your health requires you to figure it all out before you even start. I mean: if you’re addicted to plutonium, do quit that NOW. Most of the time, though, it’s better to get started and keep going than it is to refuse the journey until you have an idealized map in hand.
I’m a bit less of a hard-ass than Captain Al was, but I’m sure as hell a cheerleader for potential. And because I have a great deal of experience at doing more with fitness than I ever imagined, I can often see potential in you that you don’t see for yourself.
Not even your setbacks inevitably define your future. If you need someone to order you to trust yourself enough to get started or keep going, I can give you that order.
(For the curious: it was a training silo with no missile in it, not even a fake one. Don’t worry: they assigned smarter idiots to the real missiles. You may notice we’re all still here.)
© 2021 Grampa Fitness
Disclaimer: Ideas expressed in this blog post should not be construed as official advice on how to safely perform fitness activities. Always consult with your doctor and other medical professionals as necessary, before engaging in exercise.